I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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