i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
everyone is single if you try hard enough
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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