she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
