is your mom at the bar?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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