haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
