CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
