Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
