it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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