Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
