omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
