Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
