I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
