They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
