Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
