we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
