only if we run a train.
done.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
