could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
