i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
