So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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