I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
