so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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