We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
