Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
