Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
