Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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