hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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