it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
