Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
