I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
