It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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