I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i love accidental penises.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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