ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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