tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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