I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
