I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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