Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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