I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
