Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Green mimosas i think yes
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
