I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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