When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
