You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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