Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize