just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
