Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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