If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
