i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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