its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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