you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
