just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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