Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
